it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Boobs speak an international language.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
