i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
