he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
