Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
