So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
