i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
