I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
We smell like vodka and hangover
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