i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
