Whod you bang
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
