great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Randomize
