Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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