having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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