she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
