is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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