Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize