3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
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