I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
