I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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