Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
