fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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