party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
