yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
