So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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