So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Randomize
