I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
