his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
