I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
