and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize