my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
