he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
