In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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