No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
