Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize