Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
