My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
