summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
