u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
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