she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
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