I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
