OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
