A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
