How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
