I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
We have so much sex to catch up on
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
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