There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
