Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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