Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
