I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
In America we eat man semen.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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