Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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