That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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