I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
