4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize