she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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