Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Randomize
