her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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