me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
