You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
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