She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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